A Parent Shares Straight From His Heart...

What a better way to start a new year than with a very emotional praise from a father to his daughter.  Those of you that keep up with my blog know that I never give names and most all that I share is from my own experiences.  However, there have been times that I hear someone else in recovery share and am so inspired that I feel that everyone should be able to hear what this person is saying about recovery.  That there is maybe just one person that will read this and be helped or inspired to help someone else.  So, doing as I do, this post is the exact words this father uses to convey his experience, love and hope for his daughter and not only for her but others out there that need to know that you're not alone.  That others have the same feelings, struggles and emotions that you have.  We all have our own story to tell and some of us allow others to share our stories in the hope that the message will be carried to those that need it, seek it and want it for their own.  No longer can people say "Once an addict, always an addict"!  For there are far too many of us, recovering addicts, to stomp that tired line into the ground and snuff it out once and for all. 

As stated and with his permission, these are his words.  With the only change being that I took their names out to keep their anonymity.  This is the speech this father gave as his adult child celebrated their first year in recovery.  Pardon the spelling or any mistakes that may be found as I'm sure you understand that is not what matters here but the message that he is conveying to them and all that are receptive to hear the clear and concise message he is sharing: 

"As tears of Joy and laughter filled the room and Your Spirit, I gazed upon you and saw the look of Pride in your eyes that only a daughter can have for her father...
For what seemed like an eternity, I wished and hoped and most importantly prayed that one day you would find your way to Recovery. For over a year during my travels I shared from the podium the pain, despair and powerlessness of having a child stuck in the horrors of addiction. Members from all over the country and "the world" were praying for you! The Power of Pray is undeniable because on this day January 12, 2016 you, my beautiful daughter celebrates 1 year clean!!! During my travels over this past year, I have shared the joy and miracle of your Recovery. And The Worldwide Fellowship has celebrated with us! Thank you to all for the prayers and Thank you G-Girl for doing what it takes to stay clean!! You are Loved by many. Keep moving forward. The Journey has just begun!!!! Love you so much! Congratulations!!! ♡

** cautionary tale to all parents- don't turn a blind eye to it, don't let denial win, don't think it's just a "faze". Your privileged, straight A student, scholarship achieving, college bound, beautiful, smart child can fall into the horrors of addiction. It can happen to anyone. It happened to us. Love them, educate them communicate with them. And if still you find yourself in a similar situation as I did with my lovely child, don't give up, fight the good fight. Do what it takes! And remember as long as there the breath there is hope! There is a way out, through the Program of Narcotics Anonymous!"

Addiction is a powerful disease and anyone who thinks otherwise has never experienced first hand or through someone they know.  It is cunning, baffling and fatal.  There are only two things that I know of that an addict will do:  1) enter into recovery, stop the using of any and all mind and mood altering drugs, or unfortunately 2) continue to use until they die not knowing or even knowing there is a better way.  I am a part of a 12 step program and I am in my own process of recovery as all addicts have their own process that they themselves must go through.  Some of my journey has been difficult from lack of willingness, trust, and knowledge.  However, the biggest part of my journey has been fulfilled with knowledge, people, and strength from God.  I started and I still have a grateful heart.  I have learned to also have a humble heart and to accept that I will always be an addict and I will always be around addicts.  It's just that I choose to be with non-using recovering addicts instead of still with the sick and tired using addicts.

I pray everyday, several times a day, that the still sick and suffering addict will find their way to recovery.  Not all of us do.  Some addicts enter into recovery, others remain in active addiction, others end up in jail or some other type of institution.  While, sad to say, others die.  All these endings are necessary for addicts to enter into recovery.  Addicts need to see, first hand, what continued using will get them.  And yes, sadly, some must die so others can live.  For if the still sick, using addict doesn't see that death could be their fate, then they would never question their reasons for using.

Understand that it is hard for me to put this out there just as easy as it is for me to put this out there.  For I know, first hand, what addiction can and will do when allowed to grow inside that addict.  There is no cure for this 'disease' called addiction.  But it can be held at bay and you can learn to live without the using.  And mind you, it is not an easy task, this 'not using' part.  You have to have the right mind set and continue to press forward no matter how much you hurt or want to use, just one more time.  You must have the desire needed to get clean but most of all to stay clean no matter what.  It is one of the easiest things you do in recovery, to stop using, but it will also be the hardest things to do, to stop and stay stopped from the active using.

Please, please if you know someone that is suffering or  someone that has someone suffering from the disease of addiction, feel free to share this post with them as I feel that it can make a difference in someone's life today..

Diversity - If nothing changes, then nothing changes...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!  I pray that everyone everywhere has a safe and wonderful Christmas.  May you get the things you most desire.  Please remember the reason for this holiday season is not the getting but the giving.  Just as God gave us His son Jesus.  Yes, I am a Christian and I do believe and have accepted that Jesus died for my sins so that I would have everlasting life, all my sins washed away by asking Jesus into my heart and my life.  Yes, I have made mistakes, a lot in my opinion.  But God is a forgiving god and He loves me anyway.  One other wish I have this Christmas season is that all God's children come together and do what I feel God wants us to do, LOVE THY NEIGHBOR....

Most of you know that I am a recovering addict.  I suffer from the disease of addiction.  Obsessive and compulsion behavior is part of what I suffer from.  My disease didn't get a good hold on me until my mid to late 30's and thank God, by the time I was 44 or so, I realized that I could not go on the way I was living.  I didn't want to.  It was only by God's grace that I didn't die in active addiction.  In rehab, I was introduced to a fellowship that could help me stay on the straight and narrow, so to speak.

There are some things that I learned about myself from my recovery process.  First, and foremost, it is a process.  It is something that takes time, but I can't do it by myself.  I need help and the best help I can get is another person in recovery.  Why, you may ask, because another person in recovery knows where I've been because they have been there too.  They know where I'm coming from because they have had the same experiences.  They can share with me how they got through a tough or bad time in their life and I don't have to go through it because they can help me get into the solution quicker and easier.  Of course not every solution is quick and easy, some are very hard to get through even with help from others.

When I came home from rehab, I found a place that had a fellowship of people just like myself.  And I still attend this fellowship on a regular basis to help me learn about myself.  You see I didn't really know that I couldn't read well when I first started in the fellowship.  Today, well let's just say that it is only by God's grace and mercy that I am able to write this blog.  I have a high school diploma, no college what so ever.  Now that is just my story not someone else.  The fellowship has taught me so much.  I had about a 6th grade reading level.  For the longest time when I first entered into recovery and started my process, I had that burning question:  Why did God spare me?  Why didn't I die in active addiction?  This blog, I have come to realize that doing this blog helping others is why I was blessed with God's grace and mercy.  As I have always said, if just one person finds help within my post then I have done what I set out to do.

And why do I continue to be a part of that fellowship?  Because of the 'diversity' that I have found there.  What is diversity?  According to Merrian-Webster dictionary defines it as 'the condition of having or being composed of different elements, variety, especially the inclusion of different types of people (as people of different races or cultures) as in a group or organization.  So, this means, that I find people of all walks of life; age, gender, race and ethnicity, education, physical appearance, income, religion, jobs, experiences, physical ability and so on.  With all the diversity that anyone can find in this fellowship is the reason I find help there.  It doesn't matter who or what I am.  I am accepted for me.  It doesn't matter what I do, where I'm from, the color of my skin, my religion, and more.

My main point of this post is:  I am very concerned about our country.  There is so much hate and violence.  And that really upsets me because I guess I just can't really understand how or when we got this way.   Years ago and I me many many years ago our country was divided by many things.  But I have seen the diversity of our country was being overcome.  People treated each others with respect for no other reason than common courtesy.  We worked hard for the things we had.  We were proud of a job well done.  We tried to help our neighbors if they needed it for no other reason than to be helpful.  My heart breaks to see the things that are happening in our world today.  It seems that people today want just to do what is best for 'SELF'...

People seem to think that they are 'owed' something for no other reason than that's what they think.  Some feel that it's because of their age, gender, race and ethnicity, their education, physical appearance, physical ability, income, experiences, jobs, etc.  Confused because I really thought that a lot of these diversities had been over come.  Something has changed because some of the old ideas and ways of life are coming alive again.  The hate between different races, ethnic backgrounds, income levels, different jobs, and so on.

All I can think about this Christmas season is that if someone doesn't know God, if they don't know His love, grace and mercy and what can happen with allowing Him into their lives?  How sad are those that this applies to.  And I am truly afraid that  there are many, too many that have no idea what life CAN be like with God in your life.  Now, no I don't go to church on a regular basis but I am still a Christian.  I still fellowship with other Christians.  I don't feel that I am less a Christian than someone that can be found in church every time the doors are open.  I do what I can when I can and I give all the thanks and praise to God for I know He has me and I have Him.

My message today is:  1)  Merry Christmas to all, 2) If you don't know God, I pray that you find some way to get to know God and the many things He can and does do in you life, 3)  I pray that if you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, that you will right now.  This very moment while you are reading this.  That you accept this 'GIFT' that God has for you, all you must do is ask God to come into your life.  Accept this gift that God has for us all and walk with Him and see your life change.

Our world is changing and I really don't think it is for the better.  I know that God has a plan and that plan is being worked out today, in His way and in His time.  Please think about the things that you do and say.  Would you want someone to say or do that to you?  If not, then don't.  If you want people to respect you then you must respect them.  If you dish out crap to people all the time, they are going to dish it right back.  We need to get back to our values and principals in life.  'DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU', the Golden Rule.  This is how I live my life today.

We are not promised tomorrow and yesterday is done and gone.  Live in today for that is all you have.  As the old saying goes, 'don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today'.  Wise words since tomorrow has never been promised to us.  I really feel deep in my heart that we as a country and as a world can overcome the many diversities that we face every single day.  But it will take work and willpower.  The two things that I feel are necessary for this to happen.  But if we stay on course, don't take a shortcut or dodge a situation just because you are uncomfortable especially if you have some type of experience with whatever the circumstances may be.  Don't be so afraid to put yourself out there for someone else.

Folks our country, our world is falling a part and I know God is in control but if folks don't wake up and see what is going on around them then I will continue to pray for you as I do every night.  It is a sad time our world is facing today.

Please accept my apology for posting what some may say is a downer of a post, but I do hope and pray that most of you will understand where all this is coming from.  Folks, I don't just haphazardly pick topics to write about.  Most of the time something has happened in my life or someone else's life that sparks a fire and I feed that fire in order to try my very best to get into the solution and out of the problem as soon as possible.

I love each and everyone of you and pray you have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!!!  May God bless you and keep you and may you find that if you let Him in, your whole world can and will change....

Are You Ready???

As many of you know, I suffer from chronic pain due to fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, solid edema, PTSD, depression, anxiety and sjogrens  syndrome.  Most of my days are not easy.   Some days are okay.  And recently I have begun the change in life that most women go through.  Which seems to in turn make all my other issues worse.

I said all of that to say this, 'life is worth living to the fullest.'  I want to live my life to the best of my ability but some days I fall short in doing that.  As a recovering addict too, my life demands me to do daily maintenance in order to maintain some kind of balance.  You will not find anyone more grateful than I am that God spared me.  That He showed His grace and mercy to me and that is the only reason I am here today.  

When I first came home from rehab, I had a question that burned deep in my soul 'God, why me?  Why did you give me your mercy and grace and pulled me out of my own depths of hell?  Why me God, why me?'  And I have learned over the past 6 years of recovery that to now say 'why not me?'  

God saved me for a reason and for so long that reason escaped me.  I couldn't figure out what it was about me that was so unique that God filled me with His love, grace ,and mercy.  Today, I know my purpose.  Today I do the best I can to follow Gods will for me and not my own.  

Yes, I know today that God had plans for this ole gal.  He uses me to help those who can't help themselves.  He uses me as His instrument in life to touch others that their lives may be changed for the better because I am an example of what God can, will and has always done. Now please don't take this as bragging or boasting for I am not at all trying to do that, what I am trying to do is to tell those that will listen to me, understand what it is I write about and hopefully they learn that they too can have a life worth living.  They don't have to be in recovery to do this.  They just need God's hand to guide them but they must follow or nothing will ever change.  

Our world, our country is so messed up right now that I can hardly believe all the bad things and bad people in our world today.  But I remember that God has a plan.  Why do I not question this plan of God's?  Because I know that God is the beginning and the end.  That He is the alpha and the omega.  His word is truth, the Bible.  His plan, grand scheme of things are all in there, you just have to read it and you will find it.  

As a Christian, I understand that I am not suppose to understand all that the Bible holds.  I understand that unfortunately life is going to get worse before it ever gets better.  It says so in the Bible.  The last chapter explains it all.  Do I understand all that it says will come to past?  No, because I'm not suppose to.  God said 'no man knows when the end will be', but it is coming.  

Are you ready?  For the end of this world?  To go to the house of our Father?  If you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior I urge you to do so!  I urge you to stop right now and say 'Jesus come into my heart.  Cleanse me and make me anew again.  I accept you as my lord and savior.  Show me how to live for you and show me what your will for me is.  Forgive me of my sins and guide me in my life.'

As Christians we must make sure that we live as an example to those that are still lost.  Still denying God and His word.  We must share our beliefs with the unbelievers.  We must strive to live a life of example to those that seek God but are not sure how to get to Him.  We must spread His good news to all the corners of the world so that all may have the opportunely to accept Jesus Christ as their lord and savior.  These are things that we are appointed to do for God.  We are not to deny Him but praise Him.  Give Him the thanks for all the we are and all that we have.  We are to love one another as His loves us, unconditionally.

So, please, everyone help spread God's love and His word so that all may see that there is a better way.  That there is a better life after death if you have God in your heart and in your life.  Gather together and praise Him and his holy word that all may be saved and have eternal life after death...

There is not a day that goes by now that I am not grateful to be alive.  Addicts trying to stay clean wonder at first how can you go from the hells of addiction to being grateful on a daily basis?  I tell them that each and everyday God opens my eyes from sleeping then that my friends is a wonderful day, because I have another chance to help just one person.  That is why God showed me His grace and mercy and gave me back a life worth living, so I could do the best that I can to help someone in whatever they struggle with in life.  If just one person gets to a much better place in their life from reading my blog, then I have done what I have set out to do and that my friends is a good day indeed...