Saturday, April 28, 2012

God woke me up!

  Some days I sit and wonder "How wonderful life is!"  Now, before I go any further, just let me say that as we, you and I, go through this process, me posting, there may, well okay, there will be times that you don't agree with anything I post and/or you just can't believe I went there.  You will learn that I pretty much tell it like it is kinda girl.  So...

  Now, some days I sit and wonder "How wonderful life is today!"  Sure I still have days that I have no idea why I even get out of bed.  Seems as though nothing goes right.  But most of my days are nice, calm, no drama, peaceful and very serene.  Knowing that everyday can't always be wonderful or even "okay", it's the point that God woke me up to see that day, this day, those days, that is the most important thing for me.

  Most folks, if they would just slow down, stop, take time to see what they have instead of always being negative and looking at what they don't have, may find that they really have more than the next person.  You can't always have things, people or place be what you would have them to be.  Some days you just have to learn to deal with the hand you were dealt.  Make the best out of it.  Remember, God woke you up for some reason and I really don't think it was to focus on what you don't have.

  If more people would try to take the positive approach instead of a negative one, just think what your world would be like.  Just some little something to think about.  Wouldn't you rather try to enjoy each day with what you have instead of dreading seeing the sunrise?  Remember, God woke you up for some reason.

  I really feel that if we would truly focus on "why did God wake us" and try to do what He would have us do, man that would be an awesome day!  God does have a plan for each and everyone of His people.  We just need to be still and quiet so we can hear what that plan might be. 

  Again, just something to think about..."Why did God wake you up this morning?

Friday, April 27, 2012

Gratitude with Some Attitude

Do I have gratitude with some attitude attached?  Well lets see, gratitude is simply having thankfulness.  Attitude is a mental position or feeling with regards to an object.

So, yes, I feel you can say that I do have gratitude with some attitude attached.  I realize that I am not unique.  That I have flaws and defects of character like others.  That there are a lot of folks just like me out there.  Maybe you are one of them.  I have to get out of bed and put my pants on one leg at a time, just like you do.

My days are not that special, except that God choose to wake me up that day.  They are just days filled with a lot of emotions at times.  In one day, I know my emotions can change up to 100 times.  But those are my days and I am the one that has to live with my decision in that day, gratitude or not.


I may not have much to some people but to me, I have some of the best treasures in life.  All of which I cherish deeply.  So many, that I could not begin to list them all.  I am so thankful every day of my life that I have life.  I am not sure lots of days what my purpose in life is, but I have the faith that God will guide me in what I should do.

My gratitude with attitude shows by the way I live my life.  My gratitude is mine and no one else can have mine.  My attitude is that of showing how strong my gratitude is.

Do you have gratitude that has some attitude?  Have you stopped today and just asked yourself "Am I grateful today?  What am I grateful for?  Should I be grateful?  Do I have the gratitude that should have some attitude with it?"

Many of you will say "I don't have anything today to be grateful for."  If that is your response, then I really think you might want to go back and look at your day.  Did God wake you this morning?  Do you have food to eat?  Clothes on your back?  A warm, dry place to live?  These are the things that we should be grateful for every single day.  If you can't be grateful for the small things in life, that to some, are big reasons for them to be grateful. Then, again, you may want to check what your priorities are.

Yes, I have lots of gratitude with a huge amount of attitude behind it all.  Thank you God for thinking about me.  That's part of my gratitude with some attitude!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

One Day At a Time

My life totally changed a little over 2 years ago.  God has truly blessed me.  If you would have told me 2 years ago I would be living the life I am today, I would not have believed you.  It is a humble life, but it is mine and for that I am most grateful.

In my last post, I commented on how I prayed every day, through out my day and before I would go to bed for God to just let me die.  Seeing no way out of the life I was living at that time, death just seemed like the best solution.  Little did I know what He had already planed for me.  A much more rewarding and spiritual life to live.

My life today is wonderful.  Taking it one day at a time.  Have learned and am still learning not to put so much stress on myself about things that are coming up in my life.  My friends help me on a daily basis.  When I say my friends, I am referring to the 100 plus friends that I have the honor of knowing today.  Not many people can make that statement and it be true, but I can.  They are "true" friends not acquaintances, because they are there when I need them.  Any time of the day or night.  They are just a phone call away to listen when I need someone to.

Thank God for saving me, several times, He has spared my life.  I know this now and everyday is a blessing to me.  Even the most simpless of days I can find gratitude for that day.  I have done a lot of footwork to get to where I am today and I know there is still a lot of footwork ahead.  I must remain teachable, open minded, willing in order to do what needs to be done in my life on a daily basis.

It is my hope and prayer for all who read this post that you find some comfort in these words.  Those that are lost trying to find their way back.  Those wanting rid of the pain, guilt, and remorse.  There is a better way to live.  There are people that want to help you but you MUST help yourself first, reach out to someone.  Let them know what you need and humble yourself to accept help when it is offered.

Yes, there are parts of my life that I did not want to look at but in order to free myself of the pain, guilt and remorse, I had to look at it and explore it carefully.  Peeling a layer away at a time.  Growing with each step forward.  Learning to be humble and let someone help me.  Doing the next right thing for the next right reason.  Learning to live life on life's terms and not my own.

There is still lots I have to learn about myself.  Today, I can say "I like myself, no I love myself" and that is just enough to make it through any day on my journey.  Life is a process and I have to go through my process just like anyone else.  Today, I choose to apply spiritual principles in my life and what great relief those principles can be.

Yes, I am in recovery.  Learning, growing, teaching and being teachable, this is a life worth living one day at a time.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Light Bulb Went Off!

  So, as posted in my profile, I am in recovery.  Went to fellowship with several folks this weekend.  Have a wonderful time and learn so many new things and met a lot of new people.  Was talking to someone that is in recovery also and we were discussing about how it was when we were out there doing what we did.  Then it came to me.  It had hit me over the weekend while I was listening to someone else talking about when they were out there.

  The light bulb went off, again!  When I was doing what I did, I remember going to bed every night praying that God would take me home.  I just wanted to die.  That was my prayer every single night until I enter recovery.

  Then while talking and discussing this past weekend, the light bulb went off!  God had answered my prayers.  The person I was when I said that prayer, time and time again, is dead.  This is a different me.  Having learned so many things that have shaped and molded me into the person I am today.  Trying to take steps to continue to grow and learn, remaining teachable and humble.  Understanding that this is a new life for me.  One I have never had before.

  God did answer my prayers.  God DOES answer prayers.  I have to be able to grow and listen to others that are trying to help us through to the other side.  Must remember that I am powerless, continue to have willingness, and accept that I must surrender everything.  Myself as a whole.  This is something that cannot be done half way.  It is all or nothing for me and I choose all.  Coming from nothing.  Time to learn how to be something, someone, me.

  God has answered my prayers.  That obsession and compulsion are gone.  There are arrested.  Must continue to do the footwork or they will return.  Right now I am getting back to being a whole person.  Knowing that I am worth something.  I do matter.  I am important.

  God has answered my prayers.  Family is whole again.  Love comes from each and everyone of us.  I like myself today.  I love myself today.  I know that I am teachable, hungry for knowledge, and eager to grow beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

  God HAS answered my prayers.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Remember When?

  Do you remember when...during the summer all the windows and doors on your house were open to cool things off, day and night.  Only the so called "rich people" had air conditioning.  Now, most everyone has air conditioning and the windows and doors are always closed. Remember when you left your house to run to the store, you left the doors unlocked.  Not now, most folks have their doors locked even if they are at home.  Remember when the roads in your neighborhood or friend's neighborhood were dirt.  Now, roads are paved before the houses are ever built.

  Remember when you only had about 5 to 7 TV channels to choose from.  Now, most folks have 100 to 600 and still can't seem to find anything worth watching. Remember when you were a kid, you played outside until your mom yelled for you to come home.  Not now, kids have no idea what to do outside.  Their days are spent playing video games.

   Remember when the ice cream truck came around in you neighborhood.  Now, if I were to see an ice cream truck in my neighborhood, I would wonder why are you here and maybe I might need to call the police.  Remember penny candy, gas was 25 cent a gallon, after a spring rain you go outside to play in the puddles, riding your bike all day, playing marbles, jacks, and hopscotch.  Kids today really don't know what they missed out on.  They go to school and come home to stay in the house all day and all night, never going outside for anything if they can help it.

 Remember when, this is my favorite one, you and your family would travel somewhere on vacation.  You didn't stop to eat at a restaurant like you do today.  No, I really think this is the original "tailgate party".  You would stop on the side of the road where there were picnic tables and eat out the trunk of the car.  I don't think they even have picnic tables on the side of the roads anymore.

  All the things we remember from our childhood change as we get older.  Some changes are good and some not so much.  But that is a part of life, continuous change.  We will always have something or someone find a "better way" of doing things.  As they say "All good things must come to an end".  It would be great if some of the good things could just stay a good thing.

  Our world is changing whether we like it or not.  We have to resolve ourselves to this fact one way or other.  It is easy to accept when it is things we agree need to change, but when the change is something we feel is not okay, then we find a hard time accepting it.

  My hope is that this world will not change so much to where I don't recognize it any more.  This is slowly becoming the way I see the world.  There are so many things that have changed or gone away that sometimes I really don't recognize what it was.  This saddens my heart.  Would love to hear the sound of children outside playing, the ice cream truck music as it travels around the block with good, cold ice cream, the cash registers with the bells and whistles sounds that they did have.

  No reason for this blog except that I just got to thinking about these things and wonder how many folks out there are like me.  What are some of the thing you remember that may not be listed?  Leave a comment letting me know what you miss.  I truly hope that you get just plain ole enjoyment just reading the thoughts of someone else.  Love writing and sharing what is on my mind.


Sunday, April 22, 2012

God Puts People in Your Life For a Reason

Had such a wonderful time this weekend.  Saw old friends and made some new ones.  My spirit has been given a boost.  Am so happy that the people that are in my life today understand me and know how to relate to me.  I never would have dreamed I would have so many "true friends" that honestly and openly love me.  Am always amazed by this anywhere I go.  There were folks there that are concerned with me being happy, offering help and suggestions for my life on life's terms.  We don't always like some of the emotions that we feel, but we must feel them to grow and learn and to become stronger people.  In order to help the next person that has to face what we have already faced and events that we have made it through.

My life has been touched by so many different people in the past 2 years that I am overwhelmed at time.  The love and compassion they have for me is like no other I have ever experienced.  Without a lot of them helping in the past 2 years, I would not be the person I am today.  I have learned to love others for themselves, defects of character and all.  Most of all, I have learned to love myself even though, I too, have defects of character.  That is what makes me who I am and who I want to become.

Knowing that as long as I remain teachable and accepting, I will grow in ways that were at one time unimaginable to me.  I still have a lot of work to do but with God's help and the help of my new friends,  I am willing to press forward on this journey of mine.

I have not always been this happy with my life.  There have been times that I truly did not want to live.  It is so hard to believe that I really did feel that way at one time, but I did not like myself nor the way my life was.  That has all changed.  I love myself and the life that God has given my today.

There are days that I get up and am not feeling "all that", but I go forward through my day anyway.  Most times by the end of that day, things have gotten better and I have a brighter outlook than when I first got up.  I do thank God for everyday that He gives me.  I know to do that it is by His grace and mercy that I am still here today.

God has blessed me with such a wonderful family and great, loving friends that I just cannot describe how that makes me feel.  He has been the provider for all my needs since before I was born.  How dare I not be grateful to Him?  How dare I not seek His guidance and love on a daily basis?  How dare anyone that has experienced His grace and mercy not be grateful or seek Him in every aspect of their life?

God is my provider.  He is my love, hopes and dreams.  Without Him I would have none of these things.  With out "treating people the way I want them to treat me" I would not have the love in my heart for all people.  That is my spirituality today.  No matter who you are, what you have done or not done, no matter what, I love you and pray everyday that God would be allowed to come into your heart and give you what you need in order to ask for His guidance and the will to follow that guidance on a daily basis.  I pray several times a day, "God take my will and my life and show me what Your will for me is and grant me what I need to carry that will out."

Today, I honesty do seek God's will for me in every part of my life.  From my mom and dad to my brothers and sister to my daughter and any and everyone in my life that I know and the ones I have yet to meet.  As long as I seek God's will and listen for His answers I know my life will go down the path that it is meant to follow.  I know that as long as I pray selflessly for God's love and mercy He will give it to me.  As long as I pray for people that are in my life today and those that I have not yet met, I know He will hear me and watch over them even through the darkest hour and brightest days.

Friday, April 20, 2012

With much Love and Respect

Was just sitting around the other day and had two people, that I thank God for being in my life, on my mind.  They are both, in my opinion, very strong spiritually grounded people.  When I get to feeling like I was this day, I sit and reflect on them and what they have and are facing.  Makes my problems look some what foolish.  My prayer for those who read this is, may you have someone in your life that you can see in them what I see in these two friends.  It is some what a long post, but I think it is worth the read.  'Til next time...

Am sitting here with a heavy feeling for some things and also, have a smile on my face and in my heart for other/different things. Wondering why people find it necessary to put themselves in others lives/business instead of taking care of their own. Then on the other hand, thanking God for the blessings He has given me and the people that are in my life today. There is one friend that has so much on her plate, she really needs the relief that is readily available to her now. God is good. Then there is another friend, able to have new and wonderful, unbelievable experiences in his life today. For both of these folks are loved and cherished friends, my heart is so full of love and compassion for the both of them. From them I have learned about the grace of God in ways I had never thought of before. The one, has so much love in her heart for her family that she will give all of her heart and soul for them. And go to any ends necessary for their protection and well being. Then this man. He is just a man. Simple, loving, gracious, and humble. He is embarking on a new journey in his life. He is, as I like to say, a messenger. He speaks of truth and love, forgiveness and strength. They both have so much to give, to teach. I have a heavy heart today for the both of them. She, giving all she has to her family. Then having outsiders question her ways and means. Making her feel she needs to explain and uncover things that are no one else's business but hers and her family's. He, humble and kind. Soft spoken and loud enough to shake you to your core. Embarking on a journey that only with God's grace and love can he goes forward. Speaking his message to the ones that will hear and believe in themselves. Others, just have not gotten that far yet, but some of them will remember him and his words and their lives will change. Yet some will still be lost for no one can reach them. Both, but by God's grace, give of themselves and ask nothing in return. To be like them. To have just a very small piece of what they have would be amazing. How many of you have people in your life that are this giving, loving and forgiving? Do you tend to yours or are you trying to tend to things that are not yours? God, please watch over my family, friends and acquaintances. Everyone deserves love, happiness and compassion.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


Just a Thought

  Life is short.  Live each and every moment as if it were your last.  With GOD as your guide, all things are possible.  Treat all people as you would have them treat you.  Don't be so judgmental. We may not always know why something happens, but everything happens for a reason so learn from it, enjoy it, take away from it if it helps you and if it has nothing to do with you leave it alone.  If we would take one day at a time, our days would be brighter, happier, more enjoyable, and more rewarding.  Just a thought.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Have no clue???


  This is the first time I have ever done anything like this, so I am praying that it goes well.  Starting and restarting this post is kinda the way it seems to go when I write a post of any kind.  Takes a little bit to work through my thoughts and then to get them from my mind to the screen.  Somethings I post are from my experience, life in general and just thoughts that run through my mind at times. 

  Am really excited about this.  Maybe it is the unknown that is so exciting, not sure.  Well, here goes.  Hope you all find something you can relate to.  Oh, some of my post are from my Facebook postings.  There are some that I really glad I wrote them and I want to share them with you as there maybe something in them you can relate to.

  This is something I wrote back on October 17, 2010:  Today could be the beginning of the rest of your life. Be ready and open to new ideas everyday, because they can change your world in a split second. I have started my journey and it is a journey that is full of hope, love, peace and understanding. Are you ready for the rest of your life? For your journey to begin today? It could happen to you. Don't miss out.

  Started on my journey then and am still on it.  Have had some great things happen along the way and some not so great.  Am still glad that I live every moment to the fullest now days.  Try not to miss out on anything that I know I would enjoy.  There are so many blessings, some in the smallest places that you would never think to look.  That is why it is so very important to me that I live life to the fullest and that way I know if I do miss out on something, it wasn't mine to begin with.