Unconditional Love - Not Just a Mother's Love...

So, I have been trying to figure out the right way to discuss my next subject:  unconditional love.  Most folks that I know relate this to 'a mother's love'.  Which I know is true as I am a mother myself.  But as I was thinking of what to post and how to post, there was one thing that was really weighing heavily on my mind, what about fathers?  I have really been praying about this post for that reason and that reason alone, what about fathers?  Do they not have unconditional love?

You see, being in recovery has opened my life up to so many new people that I understand when people say 'unconditional love is like a mother's love for her child', but I have met fathers that have that 'unconditional love' too.  By definition, unconditional love is a love that has no limitations, no restriction on it.  So when I sit and listen to a father speak of his children that he has had in his custody since they were in diapers, I see and can feel his 'unconditional love' for them.  Yes, there is a bond between mother and child that only they have.  This I totally account to the fact that she is the one that has carried that child inside of her.  Now I also know that there are some women that give birth and do not in any way, shape, or form want that child.  This saddens my heart, but I know that it is true.

Unconditional love is given so freely.  Without boundaries, no limits or restrictions.  After many days and nights praying on this and asking God, my Higher Power, to guide and direct me as I try to post 'my experiences' on the subject.

So, here goes...

Sitting and listening, he is in tears. His whole body is shaking.  He is in such distress.  His girls.  His angels.  He is missing them so he can hardly speak of what has happened.  Nothing as tragic as them being hurt or suffering.  No, they have been taken from him by their mother.  Not through the court system.  Just taken with no warning, no notice.  He went to their school to pick them up and they were not there.  She had already gotten them.

Your heart could not help but ache for him.  Yes, his love for his children is unconditional.  You know that if he had to, he 'would' lay down his life for them.  Now please don't misunderstand, I know that father's do love their children and would lay down their lives also.  But to sit and watch and listen to this young man was horrible.  He cried, got extremely anger, cried some more and wanted to do something but didn't know what to do.  He was truly lost.  He could not find the words, at times, to describe how he was feeling, just lost.

He has been without them for several months now.  Trying his best to let the court system do the right thing.  He has to go days and even weeks without talking to them.  He has grown so much through this event.  And he is still clean.  Has not had a reason to put any dope on it.  Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, he smiles and laughs some today.  Their lawyers are working things out.  This young man is a man that has placed his trust, maybe for the first time, in other peoples hands.  His and his children's future are in strangers hands.  His trust in his Higher Power is strong and he knows that He will work things out the way they should be.

I am so proud to be a part of this man's life, only as a friend, a fellow addict.  His journey has shown me that anyone, not just a mother, can possess this thing we call unconditional love.  I, myself, have grown and learned from this young man's experiences.  Without revealing who this person is, you can still paint a picture to understand unconditional love.  

In my process of recovery, I have had to really stop and use many resources to get where I am  today.  There are so many people in my life that I have learned from and many that I am still learning from.  I cherish the moments, such as this young man sharing his experiences, because they help me to see a bigger picture.  There are always lessons to learn, even small ones.  Being in recovery is awesome.  I never knew I could have a life like this.  I overflow with gratitude everyday.

Experiences like these are the reason I find it comforting to write this blog.  I do my best and will continue to write without names of people or places.  Those things most of the time really don't matter.  It is the experience itself that one should remember.  For experience is the root of learning, for me any way and especially today.  I don't have to know the person, just their experience.  The hope that they share.  The strength they are willing to give to me and others so freely.  That is what matters to me today.

Again, I have tried my best to explain one of my spiritual principles as simply as I could.  Anyone can apply this in their lives.  For me, learning and applying these principle in every corner of my life, I am able to understand, learn, be supportive and receive support when needed.  I can walk down the street or into a local store and really not care what people may say about me.  Good, bad or indifferent.  I love my life and I know that I am doing the right things today.  And I just keep it moving.  Some days are better than others, but everyone has good and bad days.

I know that all things happen for a reason.  Take life slow.  Enjoy, learn and grow from your life and others.  We only get one, so we need to make the most of our lives as we can.  Help that person in someway without wanting or looking for something in return.  Just be upfront about your feelings.  Look at new experience as lesson to grow and learn from.  Maybe even be able to share it with someone else later and they to can learn and grow.

Some spiritual principles are hard to practice, but your life would be so much more if you can learn and apply these principles to your life, everyday, in everything.

Could you handle an experience like this young man?  Or would you show out?  Make a scene about it?  Cuss, fuss and use dope or alcohol because of it?  Questions like these are the ones that come to mind that I had to answer for myself.

Unconditional love, an awesome thing to share, to feel, to give...

God Has My Back...

Just want you to know that today I have God in my corner and that makes me so happy!  You never know when things are going to go your way, for a change.

For example,  mom had read in Gastonia newspaper on the internet that there was going to be a 'free dental clinic in Gastonia Friday and Saturday.  It was the NCMOM .  We had never heard of this, so she printed off the information that the article gave.

It is 'The North Carolina Missions of Mercy Dental Clinic.  They provide dental care to people who fall in the income bracket at no charge.  They do cleanings, fillings, extractions and dentures.  Well, anyway, the way this article read, they were offering dentures at the Gastonia clinic and that is really what I wanted and need.  The articles stated that the parking lot would open at 12 midnight Thursday and the clinic would open about 6.  This really sounded like what I needed to check out but I really felt that in order to be sure I was seen I would need to go and sit all night, to get my spot.  So, that is just what I did, along with my sister.

Upon arrival at the clinics location, we saw that many folks had already shown up.  The line was long.  Now, staying all night may not have been the best for me but I wanted to make sure that I was able to see a dentist.  Needless to say, I hope to never spend the night in line for something like this again.  It was not, to say the least, good for my fibromyalgia or any of the other health issues that I have, but I wanted, no I needed  to have some teeth removed.  After waiting in line and practicing patience, acceptance, and being humble,  I was able to see a dentist and made the decision as to what teeth to remove.  Had three that had already broken  off some, so those were the ones they worked on.  Everyone, from the people of the church family, to the volunteers of assistants, dentists and so on, were so wonderful.  We all were able to get along while we waited.  Making some friends along the way.  Understanding that we were not the only ones needing help.  I am still trying my best to get over this trip physical. .

Once the dentists decided what would be the best for me and my health, we decided on the three that were broken.  The dentist that worked on me was wonderful.  I have never had a dentist that did not hurt me in some way or another.  He had to give me several shots, none of which I felt.  That's right, I said that I felt NONE of the 7 to 10 shots that he gave me.  It took about an hour to remove those three teeth.  The dentist is Dr Douglas Wolfe and his offices are in Waxhaw, North Carolina.  I do encourage you to check out his website.  Just click on his name and you will go straight there.

There were easily 500 people there and all were able to be seen and all given help to stop their pain and suffering.  This is a great thing the these dentist and other folks are doing.  Giving of their time freely and happily.  Things of this nature are what I want to inform the public about, not just addicts or recovering addicts, people in general.

Yes, God has truly blessed me yet again!  How could I or anyone not believe that there is a power so much greater than ourselves?  Going through my process, I have learned that, at times, things are not always the way you want them to be, but they are the way they are suppose to be.  God saw that I got what I needed yesterday, even if it was not what I was wanting.  He does provide when you need it.

I have come to realize the past two days I was more able to be humble, have patience, have some acceptance, and trusting the process.  Lots of spiritual principles working all together, all at the same time.  Yes, I have had some pain since having those teeth removed, but there is comfort there too.  I know that this pain, in time, will go away and won't come back.  I didn't get the dentures that I thought I would get, but God knew that I had some that really needed to come out.  He also knows that I do have an appointment to to go to the dentist as the end of October.

I am adding Dr. Wolfe's and the NCMOM links to my resource page. A little heads up, the NCMOM will be in Charlotte in December.  I strongly suggest that if you only need minor things done in the way of your teeth, then you may want to check out their website.  Also, if you are in need of finding a regular dentist, I would be sure to check out Dr. Wolfe's website, as well.

As I go along and have different experiences, I want to share them with you and anyone else that could benefit from it.  MOM is not only in North Carolina, but other states.  I would suggest just using Google to find out about it in your area.  And I am sure that the dentist and assistants that they have are as wonderful as the ones at the clinic I attended.

I was also told of a service called HealthNet Gaston.  HealthNet Gaston is a non profit organization dedicated to providing access to affordable healthcare for low-income, uninsured Gaston County residents with chronic medical conditions.  From the research that I have done, it appears that most counties have some type of healthcare to provide to low-income people and their families.  I would strongly suggest that you try to Google in your area or check your local phonebook.

Sharing not only my experiences as a recovering addict, but those that I feel anyone can benefit from.  As I find or become aware of other services, I will do my best to list them on the Resource page with a link attached.  If at anytime there is a link that does not work, please copy and paste into your browser.  If it is just a name or title, checking Google will be the best bet in finding the website.

Again, I really want to say "Thank you so much for the continued support of this blog.  I am getting so much from posting and I hope and pray that you too, are receiving the blessings that are included in the different post."  God will always be in your corner as long as you allow Him to be.  You need only ask and He is there.  Things may not turn out the exact way you want, like my teeth and a set of dentures, but He will meet your most urgent needs, broken teeth that have hurt for over a year.  My need was meet not my want.

Til next time, treat others as you would have them treat you in all areas of your life...

Drug Use...Violent Crimes...Addiction...Looking for the Answers

It has been a while since my last post.  Went on vacation and it has been a little crazy around here since we returned home.  In the past I have posted about how hard it is sometimes to get the help you need to enter into recovery.  Well, it can be just as hard to get or receive help after you enter into recovery.  Having posted some of my struggles before, I think it only fair that I state that most of the time, these days, I don't have to 'jump through as many hoops' as before.  But mind you, there are still hoops that I must jump through from time to time.

One of those hoops being how I receive the medications that I take for my fibromyalgia and other health issues.  Every three months the manufacturer of most of my medications sends my meds to my doctor's office and I go by to pick them up.  I normally let the office know that I am about out (still have about 2 weeks left at this time) and ask them to please order it for me.  Well, this is one of those times that things have not been what they should be.  It has been over a month now since I requested an order and I am still waiting.  Yes, I know I get most of my meds free, but that is no excuse for having to be out for over a month.  And no, I can't just go get a prescription and have it filled.  I have no income, so therefore I have no money.

Thank God for family and friends that are there to help me in my times of need.  Now, I mean no disrespect to my doctor but this is a little bit more than I want to handle at this time.  But you do what you have to in order to get by.  I am not sure if I will go back to this doctor in the future or not for the simple fact that when I asked him what seemed to be the problem and how can we work it out, he said I needed to talk to the person that was calling it in because he did not know what or when they were calling.  And that the office only called the drug manufacture as a courtesy to the patient.  Wow, now that is taking some kind of responsibility for your staff!!  Oh, and I am still waiting.  Due to this and other issues I have been dealing with, I just haven't been in the right frame of mind to write a 'good and informative' post until today.

Moving on, I want to address once again the power of addiction.  This disease is incurable and can be fatal, causing death.  It is no laughing matter and I wish the public would take it more serious than they do.  I have been doing a little research as to the percentage of violent crime and drug use.  My findings are according to some reports "Crime related to drug abuse is mostly non-violent and often petty."  This comes from  http://www.incb.org (please copy and paste into your web browser to view).   I encourage you to go to this site and read as it is filled with information that could help you or someone you know one day.  Also, you may want to check out some of the sites listed below on the same subject 'drug use and drug related violent crime'.  There are additional sites on my resource page about treatment centers and web sites where you can find help for yourself or a loved one.

Anyway, everyone is not the same when it come to addiction.  Some people can use drugs and never become addicted.  I have heard it said in the past several months, "I didn't think anyone could stop using 'crack cocaine"!  Well, I am here to tell you that you can stop the use of this substance and others.  Some people never become dependent on any drug.  They can use and walk away just as easily as they started.  Someone may have a harder time recovering from marijuana than say crack cocaine.  It all depends on that individual, not necessarily what drug they are using.  Most addicts will tell you that 'I used whatever I could to get me out of myself.'

There is help out there, but you have to ask to receive it.  You have to have willingness to stop using.  If, for some reason you feel you may use again, you can still seek help.  Most times the help you seek is just someone to understand where you are and where you are wanting to go.  Many have asked why every addict cannot grasp recovery.  They seem to let it slip through their fingers like water.  Everyone has their own point, their reason to stop using.  But we must allow them to reach that point.  We can not do the recovery for any addict.  They must 'want' to recover for themselves.

This post is about raising awareness of drug use, addiction and drug related crimes.  Mainly, because I have felt lately that drug users are being represented unfairly (to a point) about their use and violent crimes that are shown as drug user related.  I have seen a lot of this representation in several movies that I have watched.  Not naming these movies as that is not the point.  My point is that I feel, and this is just me, that the drug related violent crimes are happening during drug deals.  I feel that drug related violent crimes maybe more apparent in larger cities, such as New York, Los Angeles, and other cities of related size.  In the smaller, more rural, towns I feel that there may not be a very high drug related violent crimes taking place.

Yes, drug users steal, cheat, lie and many other things in order to get money to buy their drugs.  I do understand that the websites that I have listed may not prove my feelings, but I just felt the need to state how I feel about this subject and provide research to bring awareness to light about drug related violent crimes.  Drug use is running rampant throughout our world.  The war on drugs is still a strong part of our world today as it was when it started.  In the websites listed below, there's an abundance of information and reports and charts and graphs that show and tell the story of how drugs and their use is affecting our society.

Drug addiction is no laughing matter.  We need to take this subject very serious as we may one day find that this information is helpful because someone we love is using or has become an addict.  As I stated earlier, persons react differently to drugs.  They react differently to different drugs.  Yes, there are some that will die the first time they ever try drugs.  This is a fact that cannot and should not be over looked.  It just breaks my heart to see someone, whether I know them or not, using or high because I know what they are going through.  The struggles and temptations.  The battles they have to fight everyday in order to be able to use.  Again, addiction does not care who you are, what class of society you are from, where you live or what type of work you do.  There are people as varied as homeless to being a doctor or lawyer.  Addiction does not care!!

Please, if someone you love or know appears to have a problem with drugs or alcohol, try to understand that they may not be able to stop on their own.  Let them know you are there for them.  That you truly care about them.  Sometimes all someone needs is to know there is someone willing to help no matter what.  Addicts will try everything they possible can to get their next fix but I honestly do not feel like someone just trying to get one more fix  would do something extremely violent to get it. I may be wrong, but I hope I am not.  People need to wake up where drug and alcohol abuse is concerned.  We must continue to reach out and try to educate the non-using public about drugs and the addicts that abuse them.

Sorry for the inconvenience, but for some reason I can't get these websites to link to the web pages.  You will have to copy and paste each one into your web browser to view them.  Again I do apologize.



Additional sites on drug use and drug related crime statics:

http://recoveryfirst.org/substance-abuse-and-violent-crime.html/

http://recoveryfirst.org/substance-abuse-and-violent-crime.html/

https://www.ncjrs.gov/htm/chapter2.htm

http://www.justicepolicy.org/images/upload/08_01_REP_DrugTx_AC-PS.pdf

http://www.thirteen.org/closetohome/viewpoints/html/crime.html

http://courses.missouristate.edu/KarlKunkel/SOC540/harrison.pdf

http://www.csdp.org/edcs/page24.htm

http://www.drugscope.org.uk/resources/faqs/faqpages/how-much-crime-is-drug-related