You see, being in recovery has opened my life up to so many new people that I understand when people say 'unconditional love is like a mother's love for her child', but I have met fathers that have that 'unconditional love' too. By definition, unconditional love is a love that has no limitations, no restriction on it. So when I sit and listen to a father speak of his children that he has had in his custody since they were in diapers, I see and can feel his 'unconditional love' for them. Yes, there is a bond between mother and child that only they have. This I totally account to the fact that she is the one that has carried that child inside of her. Now I also know that there are some women that give birth and do not in any way, shape, or form want that child. This saddens my heart, but I know that it is true.
Unconditional love is given so freely. Without boundaries, no limits or restrictions. After many days and nights praying on this and asking God, my Higher Power, to guide and direct me as I try to post 'my experiences' on the subject.
So, here goes...
Sitting and listening, he is in tears. His whole body is shaking. He is in such distress. His girls. His angels. He is missing them so he can hardly speak of what has happened. Nothing as tragic as them being hurt or suffering. No, they have been taken from him by their mother. Not through the court system. Just taken with no warning, no notice. He went to their school to pick them up and they were not there. She had already gotten them.
Your heart could not help but ache for him. Yes, his love for his children is unconditional. You know that if he had to, he 'would' lay down his life for them. Now please don't misunderstand, I know that father's do love their children and would lay down their lives also. But to sit and watch and listen to this young man was horrible. He cried, got extremely anger, cried some more and wanted to do something but didn't know what to do. He was truly lost. He could not find the words, at times, to describe how he was feeling, just lost.
He has been without them for several months now. Trying his best to let the court system do the right thing. He has to go days and even weeks without talking to them. He has grown so much through this event. And he is still clean. Has not had a reason to put any dope on it. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, he smiles and laughs some today. Their lawyers are working things out. This young man is a man that has placed his trust, maybe for the first time, in other peoples hands. His and his children's future are in strangers hands. His trust in his Higher Power is strong and he knows that He will work things out the way they should be.
I am so proud to be a part of this man's life, only as a friend, a fellow addict. His journey has shown me that anyone, not just a mother, can possess this thing we call unconditional love. I, myself, have grown and learned from this young man's experiences. Without revealing who this person is, you can still paint a picture to understand unconditional love.
In my process of recovery, I have had to really stop and use many resources to get where I am today. There are so many people in my life that I have learned from and many that I am still learning from. I cherish the moments, such as this young man sharing his experiences, because they help me to see a bigger picture. There are always lessons to learn, even small ones. Being in recovery is awesome. I never knew I could have a life like this. I overflow with gratitude everyday.
Experiences like these are the reason I find it comforting to write this blog. I do my best and will continue to write without names of people or places. Those things most of the time really don't matter. It is the experience itself that one should remember. For experience is the root of learning, for me any way and especially today. I don't have to know the person, just their experience. The hope that they share. The strength they are willing to give to me and others so freely. That is what matters to me today.
Again, I have tried my best to explain one of my spiritual principles as simply as I could. Anyone can apply this in their lives. For me, learning and applying these principle in every corner of my life, I am able to understand, learn, be supportive and receive support when needed. I can walk down the street or into a local store and really not care what people may say about me. Good, bad or indifferent. I love my life and I know that I am doing the right things today. And I just keep it moving. Some days are better than others, but everyone has good and bad days.
I know that all things happen for a reason. Take life slow. Enjoy, learn and grow from your life and others. We only get one, so we need to make the most of our lives as we can. Help that person in someway without wanting or looking for something in return. Just be upfront about your feelings. Look at new experience as lesson to grow and learn from. Maybe even be able to share it with someone else later and they to can learn and grow.
Some spiritual principles are hard to practice, but your life would be so much more if you can learn and apply these principles to your life, everyday, in everything.
Could you handle an experience like this young man? Or would you show out? Make a scene about it? Cuss, fuss and use dope or alcohol because of it? Questions like these are the ones that come to mind that I had to answer for myself.
Unconditional love, an awesome thing to share, to feel, to give...
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