Hi, everyone! I have been gone this past weekend and my spirit has been fed to the point of running over! Such inspiring people sharing their experience, strength and hope in recovery. Learning and sharing with different people. People of different walks of life. Different ethnic backgrounds, up bringing, lifestyles. You name it, they were there.
Seeing old friends. Making new friends. I will never get tried of hearing and learning about recovery. There is something that you can, if you listen, learn from everyone who shares their experience. My gratitude never seems to be enough, to me, to tell folks 'thank you ' for putting yourself out there so I will know that if I have a similar experience, that I can get through it or at least know who to contact for help.
Fun, friends and fellowship. That is what a weekend like this past weekend is all about for me. I have never been unhappy or dissatisfied with the experience of recovery. The way we, including myself, open up and let others in. One, so others will understand and want what someone else has. Two, for ourselves. To let go and let God, so awesome! Folks that get just so raw and open. Through the tears and pain that may come with sharing different experiences with others, is all worth it!
I can sit and listen to someone share and really feel the feelings that they are sharing about. There are some folks that share that I can relate to because I have had some of the same experiences as they have. It is still very amazing how many of us have had the same experiences. And just as amazing to the different ways we all have gotten through those experiences and the lessons we all have learned or are trying to learn.
In my opinion, there are not many spiritual fellowships that can be so moving. The growth that you can have in just a weekend. Growth that can and will last a lifetime. Through the tears and the pain to get to the other side and know that everything is okay. Learning how and why different spiritual principles apply in our own life. Understanding where you are in life and that you are right where you are suppose to be. Knowing you are doing the right thing.
There are other weekends like this one. All with their own spirit and friends in recovery. But I do so enjoy them all for what they have to offer me in my recovery. One thing about them all, they are all relaxing, fun, and very educational.
They, at times, have their sad moments. You go with excitement to see friends only to learn that they went back out. Back out into that world that so many of us were in. Back to the pain, lies, and insanity. It hurts when you find out someone you know, personally, has gone back out, relapsed. But there is still that love you have for that person. You are drawn closer to those that are still trying to live clean one day at a time.
You are drawn closer to God and find yourself saying more prayers than before because you know that somewhere out there is someone, that friend you know or someone you have never met that needs a prayer or two. You have learned that you can pray for one that you know, but that you should also pray for those that you don't know. The ones that may never learn that there is recovery waiting on them when they are ready. That life can and is different without the use of drugs. A life worth living.
During this weekend, I have cried some for I have been that full with the spirit of recovery. I have been moved and am closer with God and the friends I have in recovery. This weekend has allowed me time to get closer to myself and to get closer to some of the other women that are in my life today. I met new friends.
I think that I will never grow tried of weekend trips such as these. Learning something different. Seeing how that something different can work. Understanding that it is in no way getting better out in the world of drugs. You know, when I was using I knew that the things I was doing could have killed me. Today, people are losing their minds and their life because of this horrible disease, addiction.
Young people not listening or even trying to understand that they are losing themselves if nothing else by using. Their choices are being thrown away with no regard to the aftermath or consequences of their actions. Having no idea what damage they are doing to themselves and others.
You see, that is why I feel that it is necessary for me, not anyone else just me, to be as open and honest as I can about myself and my disease. The experiences that I have had. Leading them to others, people that are better suited to help them through, than I am. Being nonjudgmental of someone because of what they have done while in active addiction.
I don't want someone to die out there in active addiction if there is some thing that I or anyone can share with them that might save their life, just for a moment. My prayers are for all addicts, active and in recovery, for it is only by grace that it is not me still out there in the misery and pain everyday.
Being spiritually fed is very important to me. Having the feelings I have about recovery, it breaks my heart to see anyone suffer for whatever reason.
So, if you or someone you know is in addiction, there is a better way. We, I, as an addict in recovery have found that I can stop using. That I have lost the desire to use and I am living a better life today. My life is not perfect and I do not work a perfect program, but I do work a program to the best of my ability.
This better way of life is out there, all you have to do is have the willingness to ask for it. The courage to accept the changes you will have to make in your life and lifestyle. And being open minded of things that work no matter how crazy they may sound.
Thank you all for allowing me to share my experiences and hope of a new way of life that I am living today. It is not a glamorous life nor is it a boring, dull life. My life is full of love, family and friends that accept me for who I am not what they think I should be. I have choices today and can make sound choices.
None of these things in my life would be possible without God in my life, leading me in my recovery. You don't have to be religious to have God in your life. Working on you and others. Learning that His will is what we seek and getting quiet enough to hear what His will for us is. Some times I have to sit still for a bit until I can understand God's will for me and He grants me the power to carry His will out.
If you are reading this, then I am to assume that you or someone you know is in active addiction or recovery. You did not find this page by accident. Please read the posts that I have put up. Understand that there is a different way to live today, but you have to make that decision on your own.
I will never be able to express or say enough about recovery and the gratitude that I have today in my recovery. Gratitude for everything and every one.
Sorry, for the delay in posting. Have been busy and not very mobile due to my physical issues. Remember there are others out there just like you. There are others just like you in recovery. You must decide if you are going to spend the rest of your life with clean addicts or addicts that are in active use. You are the only one that can stop yourself from picking up that 'next' one.
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