Forgiveness, are you giving it, forgiving someone that has wronged you or are you asking for it, because you have wronged someone? Forgiveness, like other principles, it is a process. We give forgiveness and we ask for forgiveness. Either way someone is being asked to let go of a resentment, debt or claim of an offense made toward another.
Studies show that people who forgive others are happier, healthier than others. Jesus speaks of forgiving or showing mercy towards others. In the book of Luke, there are many references to forgiving. "Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned, forgive and you will be forgiven". And one quote that most everyone knows "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
As I was researching my topic on the web, I came across the Mayo Clinic website. There you can find all kinds of very interesting material on and about forgiveness. The pros and cons health wise.
Mark Twain is quoted "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
Oprah Winfrey said "True forgiveness is when you can say, 'Thank you' for that experience."
Martin Luther King Jr said "Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude."
And President John F. Kennedy said "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
Some people have asked 'why do you put definitions and quotes about the subject of your post'? Well, there are a few reasons. First, I like to know that there is no misunderstanding as to what the word or phrase or the subject matter are as defined by the Webster Dictionary. I want to make sure that I have a clear and accurate information on the subject, for myself. The quotes from famous folks that most everyone knows, allows me to show the different ways or meanings a subject may have or different emotions that can be felt just by the way someone uses it in a quote. I want to make sure that you all understand that I 'do' understand the meaning and usage of my subject matter.
In recovery, for me anyway, there had to be some forgiveness given on my part and then there had to be some forgiveness from others. This is not an easy principle to live by. I had to come to a complete and concrete decision about why and how I need to forgive others and what was my part in events and issues that I would be asking for forgiveness from others. You have to be ready and understand when someone will not accept your apologize and allow that person to be where they are. You see, when I asked, or now when I ask for forgiveness, I know what my part was or is and if you accept my apology, then that is okay. If for some reason you do not accept my apology then there is nothing more that I can do. I did my part, cleaned up my side of the street, so to speak. If the person that I was requesting forgiveness from feels they cannot give it, then they will have to deal with the feels that come along with that. I cannot control how someone is going to react or feel when I apologize for my actions and ask for forgiveness.
As I gathered a list of who I needed to apologize to, I had to include myself on that list. Yes, I had done things to myself that I needed to forgive myself for. I am not proud of the things that I did when using, but I can only apologize and ask that those folks understand. I must pray about these things that I need to do and ask God to help and guide me through my day and through each apology that I must make.
Today, I do my very best not to end up in a position to have to apologize. I try hard to do the next right thing for the next right reason, so at the end of my day, when I am reflecting back I can say "Okay, you did what you should the way you should have. Yes, at the end of each day, I look back at what as happened and examine my actions and my reactions. If there is anything that I need to apologize for, then I do, just as soon as I possibly can. I thank God every morning and every evening for what He has given and done for me in my life.
As always, I am only trying to do what someone did for me, there to help me through to get the help I needed. If this blog helps just one person then I have done what I set out to do. You see, I must give back what was given to me. If there is something that you would like for me to share my experience on, just drop me a line and I will do my best to offer you some experience and hope.
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