Friday, September 4, 2015

None Of Us Ever Know...

Sorry, I have been away for a while.  Hope to be back posting on a regular basis from now on.  Thank you for understanding and still enjoying the post that I have written and shared.  Please note that this post is my feelings, beliefs, and of life and death as I understand and comprehend it.  This one is a little hard to share as most of us don't want to really think about it as it leads us to an unknown for all...

My heart is heavy as I write this post today.  Earlier this week, I lost a friend in an automobile accident.  She was such an inspiration to many and I find comfort in knowing that she is with God and is free from all things that are earthly.  It is hard to think how such a young and vibrant woman with nothing but love and compassion to give, never asking anything in return can be taken in just a very split second, in an instance.  A woman that was a mother of 6 children and expecting her 7th in February.  A daughter who loved her family dearly and sought to bring them to the point she was in her own life.  A devoted wife, who loved and cared for her husband and children as if her life depended upon it.  A friend who always had sweet, kind and encouraging words to say about everyone.

No she was not perfect, but who of us are?  No she was no different than a lot of women that strive to be the best in all that they do.  Yes, she was stronger in will and mind than some but also less than others.  She tried her best to always look at the positive in any and all situations and was one that would encourage instead of break  you down in the worst and best times in life.  She was just 34.  Had actually just celebrated her birthday the week before she went to her heavenly home.  She had an 11 month old son who's first birthday was just a week or so away.

As do many of us, she had her own demons that she had to fight and conquer throughout her life.  But she did it in a way that others may be able to relate. So that they too could find the peace and serenity that she had been able to find.  She had her struggles growing up as many do and some of them were much harder to deal with than others.  Some people would not have been able to make it out, so to speak, alive and in the state of mind in which she had been able to do.  It was not an easy task for her.  She did slip at times as many of us do, but eventually she made it through to the other side and became devoted to helping others just like her.  Knowing that there would be some that she would not be able to reach and some that would die before they could even grasp the ideals that she and others like her, tried to the best of their abilities to teach others.

This post is a small tribute to this daughter, mother, wife and friend that I and many others have lost.  As I said in the beginning, these are my thoughts and feelings that I saw and had for this young lady.  As it is hard for many of you out there, so it is hard for me to say goodbye to someone that you love and respect as a person as I did her.

Death is not an easy thing for any of us to think about much less talk about, but it is a subject that we all will or have faced in our lives.  There is so much more I could say about my friend but I believe that you can relate to some part of what I have said about her.  What I hope to do with this post is to give you the understanding that none of us know when life will end as we know it.  Just as my friend had a belief in God and was very spiritual in nature I have the same beliefs and spiritual mind.

None of us are promised tomorrow.  None know when, where or how we will leave this world.  And as our world continues to appear in a downward spiral, I feel the need to express my concerns and desires that I have for myself and each of you.  I, myself, do not see this world getting any better and I know that it is only a matter of time before all that is earthy will end as we know it to be.  I am a Christian as I have stated this fact before and so was my friend.  I also am very spiritual in nature as was my friend.  The first part of this post was to paint a picture of how wonderful life can become even though you feel as if you are walking through the pits of hell at this very moment.  I, as she did as well, understand the struggles that many of you have in your life today and some have been able to overcome these struggles only to find new ones on the horizon.  But I pray that you understand that things can and will get better and many of your dreams can still come true as they did for me and my friend.

God is good.  His grace and mercy are gifts that you only need to accept to have them.  There is nothing that He ask in return except to strive to be like Him in all things you do.  Ask and allow Him to guide and direct your life even when you feel that it is impossible for you to complete the task at hand.  I have learned through my own experiences in life and life as an addict that is now in recovery that God can and will do what I cannot if I allow Him to.  I must step out of the way, take my hands off from trying to 'fix it' myself and allow God to work it out as He already knows how things will end.  I am blest to have received His grace and mercy in my life.  I find comfort in knowing that my friend who had some of the same struggles in her life as I have had in mine was also blest with God's grace and mercy.

Do you have an addiction that you just can't seem to conquer?  Have you  tried and tried, over and over and over time and time again only to fail?  Have you been able to stop using for a short or long time only to find yourself right back in the hands of your addiction.  Do you have a belief in God or a Higher Power?  Are you spiritual rather than religious?  These are questions or some questions that even a person that is not in active addiction or even in recovery from active addiction can relate too.

I only ask one thing of all of you:  search your hearts, ask these questions (that apply to you) honesty and with conviction.  If you are a Christian and still struggle, would you turn that over to God and let Him have it and handle it as He sees fit?  If you are not a Christian and you have a spiritual belief of a power greater than yourself, can you turn your worries and troubles over to this Higher Power and allow that power to take hold of your struggles and worries?  To allow that Higher Power to work out these situations so that you can be free and clear, so to speak.

Recovery is not for everyone.  There are still those of us who will die before being able to grasp the simple message that a 12 step program has to offer.  And that is the simple truth in life, same as in addiction.  There are those of us that are able to enter recovery, grab hold really tight and never let go.  Then there are those that are still very closed minded and that die before they ever understand that God's grace and mercy is for all those who will receive it.  All He ask in return is your love, honestly and compassion in life be centered around Him and not yourself.  That's it.  Plain, simple, and straight to the point.  And if you want a life from active addiction, you can have it.  Just as I have it, but you must be willing to do what is require in order to have it and keep it.

Again, I ask that you look at your own life.  As the accident hit many of us hard, so could it have been anyone of you, even me.  As I stated, we are NOT promised tomorrow, so if there are areas of your life that are a concern for yourself, addicts or not, please feel free to look at my page on this blog as it has groups, programs, people, etc. that can and will help you in what ever situation you have.

I say 'Good Bye' my friend as you are laid to rest in eternal peace.  You are truly going to be missed but know that many of us will join you one day.  Have peace in knowing that your husband and children are going to be taken care of and will remember the person that you had become.

Love you SBT with all my heart.  You were a little sister in the family circle that loved you and you loved us back and I am proud that I was able to get to know a bit about you and your family.  Rest now my friend for your earthly journey has come to it's end and your heavenly life has just begun...


Much love and respect to you SBT and CT for allowing me to share just a fragment of life with you both...                                  



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