Life...

What a beautiful day it is.  The sun is shinning bright with a small breeze blowing.  Birds are sing and the squirrels are running around and playing.  Neighbor's are cutting grass and it smells so good.

While surfing the web, Facebook, the past few weeks, I have noticed that their have been several folks that are now home with their God.  On the other hand, lots of little boys and girls have arrived and are getting ready to take hold of the world.

Things are just as the should be.  Everyone has their trails and triumphs each day.  There are things that are happening in all of our lives.  We may not know why, at this point, but rest assured that one day will we know and understand it all.

God is good.  He never puts more on my plate than I can handle.  I don't always see it that way, but I know it's true.  He has been and will always be for me.  Either walking at my side or, when needed, carrying me along my path. 

People come and go out of our lives for a reason.  We go through so many events, just in one day, sometimes it is hard to keep up.  You should be learning from them in some way.  We be thanking God for the people He sends and the experiences we have.  Sometimes it is really hard to accept things the way they are.  We, for some reason, think if something is not the way we want it or the way we think it should be, that we can change it.

Maybe somethings we can.  For the most part, this is just my experience, they can't be changed.  We must try to understand and learn for that is why these things, people, events take place.  The path that we are to go down is somewhat up to us.  We make the decision to do the things we do.

God gives us choices and through those choices we make of lives.  Who we are, what we are and where we want to head from one choice to the other.  Sometimes our choices are good ones and that is where learning from life stems from.  Living life on life's terms can get very, very difficult at times.


So, just for today, I will try to see what God is trying to teach me and will learn all that I can from that for I may not get another chance.  I will examine closely that choices that I have and do my very best in making that choice which the most growth will come from.  I will face today with an open heart and open mind and remain teachable as I go through to the other side.

God is so very good.  Sometimes we just need to slow down and look around and breath slowly to let it all sink in.  Then move calmly forward with the knowledge that you have made the right choice.  Take each day, event, hour, minute at a time and deal with them to the best of your ability.  Life is wonderful and amazing.  Enjoy, don't let things past you by, for once they have gone, they may never come again.

Be Prepared for the Gifts God Sends

Awake but sleepy eyed, I head toward the kitchen for my first cup of coffee for the day.  The rich, strong smell of coffee, loved it.  Pouring a cup, I reach for the sugar jar to sweeten just a bit.  Out to the back porch I go, to enjoy the beginnings of a new day God has given us.

There I sit.  Coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other.  Squirrels are running around, birds singing and chasing each other from one tree to the next.  My eyes are closed as I drink in the sounds of a new day beginning and the rich, hearty taste of coffee.

"God, thank you for this day.  Thank you for allowing me to wake and have the ability to enjoy Your world waking.  Thank you for the ability to see, hear and taste all the wonders of this morning.  Thank you God for just...loving me, comforting me, protecting me, and teaching me a little bit of life."

The sun is peaking through the trees and there is a light breeze rustling the leafs on the trees.  Smells of wild flowers, roses, and day lilies fill the air.  Bees are buzzing from one flower to the next.  Here I sit on the back porch with my  coffee, praying that this time, this moment could be kept to inspire each time a new morning comes.  What a wonderful gift that would be.

Be thankful for what you have for there are many that have nothing and I mean nothing.  They don't have a warm comfortable bed, a roof over their heads, food to eat, and very few clothes to dress themselves in.  Each day they wake up, they put one foot in front of the other and face their day God has given them.

Learn to be humble, smile more, laugh much more as that is the fuel of the soul.  As one man has said, "laughter is the only thing that we all did before we could speak, eat or walk.  It is a universal language that all understand."  My experience has shown me that if I face my day with a grim outlook,  then that is what I will get.  On the other hand, if I face my day with a smile on my face, joy in my heart and laughter on the tip of my tongue the day is indescribable.

There is a smile across my face as I sit here and write this because I know someone out there will read this and understand.  That is why this blog is so important to me.  I can post this and know that the person that needed to hear these words will see them and they will read them.  And that in and of itself will be all they need to get through today.  Some may be able to get through a week, or a month, who knows?

I do know that my posts are for a reason.  A reason that I do not fully understand myself.  All I know is that a thought runs across my mind and when I can't shake it's feelings, a new post is born.

Please remember that when you are going through, whatever it may be, that you will always have God on your side to see you through the storm and deliver you safely to the other side.  Through this process you become strong, more understanding and caring for others.

I do hope that I have touch your heart in some way.  If not today, maybe next time.  You never know when you will read or hear what you need.  You may not know what to do with it when you do hear or read it.  So, go slower through life.  Enjoy every single moment as if it were you last.  Love, laugh and grow.  Be prepared for what God may have for you...

Life on Life's Terms

Sitting here thinking I need to do another post.  It has been several days since my last post.  Am sorry for that, but this has been a somewhat hard week for me.  It all started last Friday.

Last Friday night, I attended a birthday celebration for a few friends of mine.  There were lots of folks there and I still have my moments of high anxiety in crowds.  Sitting where I would not be around lots of folks, I thought that I would be okay.  So the evening progressed, I could feel my anxiety rising higher and higher.

Doing what I could to keep my distance from the crowd, a few of my friends noticed that something was wrong.  You see, when my anxiety goes up my body starts to get tense all over and that causes my fibromyalgia to kick in even more so.  There was not a place on my body that was not hurting midway through the night and I could not hide the pain from showing on my face.

Luckily, I made it through the rest of the evening and was able help to close up after everyone left.  Spent most of the weekend on the heating pad as that helps more than anything.  The only thing that helps me to get over an event like this is rest and the heating pad.

When Monday rolled around, I still didn't feel very well.  Knowing that I need to get ready and go with some of my friends, that's what I did.  Just to sitting around and talking.  Have some coffee with good conversation.  That is what I need, I thought to myself, just good friends to talk to and a couple of cups of good coffee.

Unfortunately I did not realize just how much Friday night did me in.  Sitting, listening to friends share and drinking my coffee, the longer I sat there the more both my upper arms ached.  It felt like the pain was coming from inside the bone and radiating outward.  And of course, this once again caused me to tense up and started hurting in other areas of my body because of it.

My friends were very concerned as I left earlier than normal.  I explained that I had starting hurting again and I felt that the best thing was to head on to the house.  Made my goodbyes and as soon as I got home, on the heating pad I went.  One hour on, one hour off. 

As Wednesday rolled around, I really was feeling lots better.  So I decided to meet with some of the same friends as earlier and do some catching up.  We sat around for a little over an hour just talking about things that had happen during the week and what some were going to be doing this weekend.  As we were saying our goodbyes, a few of them each came up to me asking if I was okay and they were there if I needed help.  Trying to explain where I was and how it was with the pain that I have is not very easy.  You see, I look as if there is nothing wrong with me.  Other than extra weight, I appear to be happy and healthy.

Fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, solid edema and overweight, all are health issues that cannot be seen.  The overweight issue is really not too noticeable until you know exactly how much I do weight.  So there are a lot of folks, even family members, that think I am not really sick or hurting like I describe simply because I don't "LOOK" sick.

I try my best not to complain.  That only brings me down and it really makes the pain worse.  I try to keep a positive attitude about everything, especially my health.  Not that person that you know that will poor mouth themselves just to get attention.  I don't want people always asking if I am okay, what is wrong, why can't your doctors do something for you, and so on.  It is what it is and I accept that.

I know that everyday of my life from here on out that I am going to hurt.  I am going to get depressed easier than most would.  There are lots of things that I truly enjoyed doing that I no longer am able to enjoy.  I have had to humble myself and ask for help in areas of my life that at one time I took pride in being able to do.

Humbling myself to the point that I had to ask my mom and dad to let me move back home so that I would have a roof over my head and someone to help me with things, expenses that I have.  Unable to work, I have no income at all.  Am fighting to get my disability started.  It is and has been a long hard road and most of the time, you will never and I mean NEVER hear me complain, poor mouth myself.  When asked how I am feeling most days folks hear, just for today I am okay.

Now, I am not writing all this for sympathy.  This is in hopes that if  you or someone you know, someone you love or are close with has any of these issues, they are real.  That person is telling you the truth.  There are good days and not such a good day.  And yes, there are really very bad days.

Again, if you know someone that has health issues that they are dealing with, please be understanding.  Be kind to them,  Try to help them without making them feel like they are a burden.  You will find that most folks that have health issues that you cannot see, really hurt more than you could ever imagine.  They are like me, tired of folks saying "you look okay", "why can't you work, you look fine", "why can't you get those weeds of of the flower bed, your not sick", and so on.  Those statements are so trying and frustrating.  No, I don't look sick, but I am.

This has turned out to be a bit longer than I first thought it would be.  But now you understand where some of the things that you will see and have seen that I post, really do come from my heart and things that I just cannot understand why it is what it is.  In each and every post I try to write just about how I feel about the subject.  How it affects me, what I do to deal with the subject if need be, just my opinion really, nothing more.  There will be facts sometimes and I do my best to list those as well.

So, I am stepping down from my soap box and closing with this:  Though I may look as if I haven't a care in the world, I may be crying on the inside.  Be gentle, kind and caring.  Understand that I do what I can to ease my conditions, but that does not always take the pain away.  Remember I, too, am only human and I do have feelings that can be hurt just like anyone else.  Keep me in your prayers each day, along with anyone else that you know need them and even those folks that appear to need nothing.  Everyone needs someone to pray for them.  They may look as if they have it all, but I bet they don't.  You can't always tell a book by it's cover.  Most  you have to open up and explore the contents.  Get to know that book so that you will know and understand their needs, wants, hopes, and prayers.  Love them unconditional as God loves you.  We, the books that are not bright and beautiful on the outside, have tons of stuff on the inside for someone that is willing to share it with us.

Be kind.  Love with an open mind.  Be sincere and not hurtful.  We are just like you on the inside though we may not look it.  Pain is pain.  Do something for someone that you would want someone to do for you.  God bless and keep each one of you in His loving hands and comfort and protect you for all your days.