My life totally changed a little over 2 years ago. God has truly blessed me. If you would have told me 2 years ago I would be living the life I am today, I would not have believed you. It is a humble life, but it is mine and for that I am most grateful.
In my last post, I commented on how I prayed every day, through out my day and before I would go to bed for God to just let me die. Seeing no way out of the life I was living at that time, death just seemed like the best solution. Little did I know what He had already planed for me. A much more rewarding and spiritual life to live.
My life today is wonderful. Taking it one day at a time. Have learned and am still learning not to put so much stress on myself about things that are coming up in my life. My friends help me on a daily basis. When I say my friends, I am referring to the 100 plus friends that I have the honor of knowing today. Not many people can make that statement and it be true, but I can. They are "true" friends not acquaintances, because they are there when I need them. Any time of the day or night. They are just a phone call away to listen when I need someone to.
Thank God for saving me, several times, He has spared my life. I know this now and everyday is a blessing to me. Even the most simpless of days I can find gratitude for that day. I have done a lot of footwork to get to where I am today and I know there is still a lot of footwork ahead. I must remain teachable, open minded, willing in order to do what needs to be done in my life on a daily basis.
It is my hope and prayer for all who read this post that you find some comfort in these words. Those that are lost trying to find their way back. Those wanting rid of the pain, guilt, and remorse. There is a better way to live. There are people that want to help you but you MUST help yourself first, reach out to someone. Let them know what you need and humble yourself to accept help when it is offered.
Yes, there are parts of my life that I did not want to look at but in order to free myself of the pain, guilt and remorse, I had to look at it and explore it carefully. Peeling a layer away at a time. Growing with each step forward. Learning to be humble and let someone help me. Doing the next right thing for the next right reason. Learning to live life on life's terms and not my own.
There is still lots I have to learn about myself. Today, I can say "I like myself, no I love myself" and that is just enough to make it through any day on my journey. Life is a process and I have to go through my process just like anyone else. Today, I choose to apply spiritual principles in my life and what great relief those principles can be.
Yes, I am in recovery. Learning, growing, teaching and being teachable, this is a life worth living one day at a time.
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