The Light Bulb Went Off!

  So, as posted in my profile, I am in recovery.  Went to fellowship with several folks this weekend.  Have a wonderful time and learn so many new things and met a lot of new people.  Was talking to someone that is in recovery also and we were discussing about how it was when we were out there doing what we did.  Then it came to me.  It had hit me over the weekend while I was listening to someone else talking about when they were out there.

  The light bulb went off, again!  When I was doing what I did, I remember going to bed every night praying that God would take me home.  I just wanted to die.  That was my prayer every single night until I enter recovery.

  Then while talking and discussing this past weekend, the light bulb went off!  God had answered my prayers.  The person I was when I said that prayer, time and time again, is dead.  This is a different me.  Having learned so many things that have shaped and molded me into the person I am today.  Trying to take steps to continue to grow and learn, remaining teachable and humble.  Understanding that this is a new life for me.  One I have never had before.

  God did answer my prayers.  God DOES answer prayers.  I have to be able to grow and listen to others that are trying to help us through to the other side.  Must remember that I am powerless, continue to have willingness, and accept that I must surrender everything.  Myself as a whole.  This is something that cannot be done half way.  It is all or nothing for me and I choose all.  Coming from nothing.  Time to learn how to be something, someone, me.

  God has answered my prayers.  That obsession and compulsion are gone.  There are arrested.  Must continue to do the footwork or they will return.  Right now I am getting back to being a whole person.  Knowing that I am worth something.  I do matter.  I am important.

  God has answered my prayers.  Family is whole again.  Love comes from each and everyone of us.  I like myself today.  I love myself today.  I know that I am teachable, hungry for knowledge, and eager to grow beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

  God HAS answered my prayers.