A Big Thank You and Let's Talk About Tolerance

First, I would like to express my deepest thanks to all that visit my blog.  The head counter hit over 1000 hits  this weekend.  I really do appreciate each and everyone of you, for without you, I would not be doing a blog.  There have been really wonderful and encouraging comments made about the contents and context of this blog.  It makes me feel good to know that I am maybe helping just one person with their addiction or a person that has someone in active addiction.  Am just glad that today, I have the ability to express myself, being open and honest about my addiction and experiences, that someone has one more day free from those chains of active addiction.  One thing that I cannot express enough is that anyone applying these principles in their life on a daily basis, not just addicts, but anyone and everyone, can really change your life a great deal.

Now, as I move along and start with the next principle of 'Tolerance'...

Tolerance is defined as a disposition to allow freedom of choice and behavior; willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others; enduring or adapting to the allowable deviation from a standard.

So, I have said in some of the past post that the principle that I was sharing on was a hard one, well, here is another 'hard' one - Tolerance.  Read the definition, this is really my hardest one.  Reading and understanding the definition, what is really being said is that I have to 'accept' someones beliefs/practices even if the differ from my own.

There is that 'acceptance' and 'willingness' again.  So it would seem that I should be or at least trying to practice this principle on a regular basis as it appears it goes hand in hand with other principles.  Anyway, I have a very hard time with this principle of 'tolerance'.  Basically letting people be where they are in their process of recovery and/or life itself.  But some of these folks are acting crazy!  They continue to do the same thing expecting a different outcome each time.  Why can't they see what they are doing?  If only they would do it 'this way, my way' they would see how it is suppose to be and not how they want it to be.

So, I guess it is safe to say that this is where that 'acceptance and willingness' come in to play.  I have to accept that everyone is not where I am in recovery or life, for that matter.  That I must be willing to allow them to progress at their own rate and speed.  Sorry, it just kills me to see people in addiction or life itself, continuing to do the same old way and wondering why it is not working out the way they want it to or the  way they think it should.

Tolerance, allowing people to be where they are.  Sometimes, I see or hear someone say or do something, the same old way and then when it is all said and done they ask or state "I don't know why this won't work out.  I keep trying to do it but I'm still getting the same results!"  So, have you tried a different approach to the matter?  Have you tried looking at it from a different viewpoint?  No!!  Okay, well that's okay you have to do what you have to do.  You have to be where you can learn.  I can't get all bent out of shape just because you don't do things my way.

In my process, I have learned that you can do things in a somewhat different manner and come up with the same results as someone else.  I have been told that I take the long way around or through something to get to the other side.  When there was a shorter more direct approach to the matter.  That's okay.  They now have to have tolerance with me and my process.

My way maybe right, but it may also be just one of many ways to work that type of problem out.  As I practice this principle of 'tolerance' in my daily life, my levels of tolerance to people and things have and will increase more.  Everyone and everything has a different tolerance level.  As with any of these spiritual principles, time and putting them into action in my life gets better day by day.

I may not always have the most direct approach to things in life, but that is just part of me being who I am.  I can and do change, but for myself, not for someone else.  Today, I have choices, I remain teachable in all areas of my life.  Working daily to apply all these principles, especially tolerance to my life.

In practicing tolerance, I am able to be where I am and be okay with that.  Letting everyone else be where they are and being okay with that also.  There are other principles, one's I have not shared on, that play a part in having and showing tolerance.  Once I have shared on each of these principles, I will look at how each one works together with another and how they all, in the end, work off one another.

Just remember "You can and will have to practice these in life, on a daily basis. It is doable, may not always be easy, but most good things in life aren't easy to do nor to get.  As I grow in my recovery, I am amazed at the things I can do  Things that are just not that important like they were in active addiction.  I see just how sick I was.  Hard to believe I did some of the things I did just to get 'one more'.  Thank God, I still have some 'not yets', but I know that just makes me eligible, too.  My 'not yets' are the things that in active addiction, I could not tolerate from myself and my life.  Never been locked up, never had to used my body to get that 'one more', never tried to kill myself, and others.  Again, not saying these things because I feel I am above or better than that man or woman sitting in a meeting beside me.  Only to say, those things will be waiting on me should I ever return to active addiction.  It's just the nature of the 'beast'.  So, the more I work on my tolerance level in my life, the better chance I stand in growing up in my recovery and able to allow others their process, too.